Aubrey Huff makes sense for Phillies

When I was a die-hard USF basketball fan as a kid, I was introduced to the concept of faking an injury to stave off embarrassment when seldom-used forward Erik Gilberg went up for a garbage-time dunk, came up woefully short, slammed the ball into the front of the rim, fell on his rear, then promptly grabbed at his ankle.

That scene popped back into my head Friday night when Ryan Howard went down in a heap after bouncing out to end Chris Carpenter's masterpiece.

Now we know that Howard wasn't pulling a Gilberg. He has a torn Achilles' tendon, and that's among the more devastating sports injuries.

It's also a potentially fantastic solution to what, at present, is a bit of a messy problem for the Giants.

Howard's injury is going to take a minimum of six months to heal, and that's an optimistic view. Eight months is more realistic, and depending on Howard's work ethic and the competency of his trainers and docs, it could be 10 months to a year.

Thus, they're going to need a first baseman. A good one. Someone who represents a threat in the middle of the lineup. Someone with a little clubhouse juice. Someone with a sense of accomplishment.

Know anyone like that who might be available?

Operator: Hello, you've reached the Philadelphia Phillies. How may I direct your call?

Brian Sabean: Ruben Amaro Jr., please. Brian Sabean calling.

Operator: Hold, please.

Elton John's "Philadelphia Freedom" plays while Sabean sits on hold.

Amaro: Sabey Sabes! What's happening?

Sabean: Well, tell you what. I was watching your game the other night. Bummer about Ryan, huh?

Amaro: Yeah. Slightly. I don't know what we're gonna do.

Sabean: I have an idea.

Amaro: I thought you might. Belt or Pill?

Sabean: Pfffhhhhhfffft! Sorry. You owe me a cup of coffee, Ruben. Just spit mine out. No, I mean Huff.

Amaro: Aubrey Huff?

Sabean: No. Michael Huff, the Raiders' DB. Yes, Aubrey Huff.

Amaro: Dude makes $11 milliion and stunk on ice this year. And you yourself said he was an offseason slacker!

Sabean: Right. But you have as much money as God, Aubrey is great every other year, and you know how motivated veterans are in their walk years. It's perfect!

Amaro: Hmmmm. Good points, all. But I need more.

Sabean: That's all I've got, Ruben. He'd be a nice band-aid for you, is all I'm saying. And hey, he's got this Rally Thong thing that matches your guys' color scheme!

Amaro: Sold. What do you want for him?

Sabean: Just get me that coffee you owe me at the Winter Meetings, OK? And take the thong. Please.



(csnbayarea.com)